. . . I pray that you . . . may experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.     Ephesians 3:19  

I was standing in worship service singing the words “I stand in awe…I am humbled…at the way that You love me”, and I was suddenly shamefully aware of who I am and who God is.  Physically, I felt terrible.  My head was so congested that I could hardly breathe; my ears were plugged; my throat was dry and I had to fight back coughing.  I sneezed several times, and had to leave the sanctuary multiple times to blow my nose – interrupting, I’m sure, the worship of others.  I looked like I hadn’t slept in days…this was confirmed by many who said things to me like “you look terrible!”  “Are you ok cause you don’t look ok?” and “you look like you haven’t slept in days!”  The heel of my shoe broke when I caught it on the stairs and I noticed a run in my nylons soon after the service started.  I was one hot mess!  But standing there, I realized that without Jesus, spiritually I look just like that physical mess.  That was overwhelming for me and the words of that song became reality.  I was in fact standing in awe that God was looking at me, a miserable mess, and He loved me completely.  I was so humbled by His presence that I could no longer sing.  I raised my hands and begged for some understanding:  “God, how can you know me through and through and still love me?  I have failed You over and over again, yet I feel Your presence and I know that You love me!  Why?  I have done nothing to deserve such love.  You see the real me.  You know all of my faults and You love me.  I am blown away by the way that You love me.”

But no understanding came.  Just peace.  Peace that can no better be explained than His love; for God’s love for me extends far beyond the bounds of human comprehension.   There I stood with His arms wrapped around me and though I could not understand why, I knew that He loved me.  At that moment it no longer mattered how I felt or looked.  God loved me.  Physically, I left the same way I came in – limping on my broken shoe, blowing my nose and looking less than presentable.  Spiritually, I was at rest and knew once again without any doubt that it is well with my soul.