If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

(Romans 12:18)

 

Have you ever gone to someone asking for forgiveness, and trying to restore a broken relationship, only to be rejected? Jesus commanded us to seek to be reconciled to anyone who has something against us, even if it is not our fault.

 

I have always been one to take blame and harbor shame and guilt when people don’t like me.  I have many close friendships and get along well with all of the 80+ people I work with. But have just one person decide they don’t want to be my friend and I will lose sleep, I will cry, I will fast and pray,  I will beg God to change me so that person will like me.  I will begin to psycho-analyze myself and ask all of my friends to tell me what is wrong with me that the other person would find fault with me.  All the assurance in the world could not convince me that I was ok.  Something had to be wrong with me if someone didn’t like me.  But the truth is you and I cannot control the other person. All we can do is obey the Lord, do what we’re supposed to do, and let God take care of the outcome. In Romans 12:18 we read: 

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 

We must not ignore the essence of this verse which says: . . . as far as it depends on you. .   If you have a broken relationship, make certain that you have done and are doing everything you can to mend it. Don’t let yourself off the hook easily. Go the extra mile, humble yourself, initiate the reconciliation, be willing to swallow your pride. . . whatever it takes for true reconciliation.  Many of us harbor hurt feelings far too long and delay reconciliation because we don’t want to humble ourselves. If you’re holding up reconciliation with someone for anything but a good biblical reason, then you’re at fault, regardless of the circumstances.

 

If you have done everything you could and the other person still refuses then we can go to the Word for further instructions on our responsibility.  In Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus gives us a complete answer on the process of reconciliation.  If properly understood and practiced, the steps we find here are very effective in bringing reconciliation between believers. Of course, there are times where a relationship has been damaged so much that full restoration is not possible. But to the extent that it can be restored, it should be restored.

 

For those who’ve done all you can to be reconciled and the other person refuses, don’t live in false guilt about that relationship. Remember, the principle is, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with all people. Many things are out of your control, and that is what you have to accept and trust to God’s care.